Friday, October 10, 2008

With a Heavy Heart.

Bart and Katie


This has been a year of many personal losses and beautiful blessings. The above pictures are of two of the four people I have lost this year. One of which is Issac who I only know through prayer and his Mother's blog. He was born on October 7th and was with his Mommy and Daddy for 16 minutes before Jesus welcomed him home. The other picture is of Bart, who was the Best Man at our wedding and his darling fiance Katie. He was killed last month. My dear friend Caroline lost her Husband Bill in February and my friend Laura lost her longtime love Sean in July. We also lost two pilots, Matthew and Bama in a jet crash at our base 6 months ago. I have also lost my family unit or what I once thought of as the "perfect family" when my parents divorced in December. Through all this God has blessed me beyond what I deserve with a sweet baby girl. A child I cannot imagine being more perfectly and wonderfully made. I see Jesus in her smile and her unconditional love everyday.

I don't question God's existence in the world or his plans. I am secure in who He is. I don't try to understand "why" or get mad at God for taking these loved ones. But I do find my heart becoming increasingly HEAVY between the hurt I feel for those that have lost and the loss I feel within myself, it is hard to feel JOY when people are hurting. We must press on through our hurt, God is bigger then the pain. His love for us is deep and vast. I have to trust that.

I must wake up every morning and be thankful for another day I get to spend with James and being Adalie's mommy. I must never take the blessings I have been given for granted. I must live a life pleasing to my Savior and I need to show HIS love to those that do not yet know him. I want to live a life I will not regret, especially on the day I meet Jesus.

This life is fleeting. It is not our home so don't get too comfortable! Love deeply, listen intently, live in the present moment and enjoy it!

Don't worry, let it be.



Anonymous said...

I have never loved you more than at this moment. Your heart touches my heart and brings me to tears. I have lived a life of no regrets and you will, too. Your foundation in the Lord is so strong, it will carry you along your journey in this lifetime. Everything you said is so reassuring and true. You have had a lot of sorrow for your age and you have handled it all as "pleasing to the Lord". You will continue to be blessed. He is soooo pleased with you and SO AM I. I love you deeply, Grams

Anonymous said...

My dear Meggie Pie,
I am sitting here weeping as I "hear" your heart and it touches me to the very depth of my soul.
Such a testimony of Father's grace
in you!
My spirit is just so deeply moved by your words and the depth of your love for all and for our Savior and Lord.You have truly been touched by the infirmities of others and have learned well to count your marvelous blessings even through your own heartache and sorrows.
You have wisdom built on the firm foundation your mom and dad gave you and you have chosen to continue to build on it in Him. Your granddad and I love you so very much and are incredibly proud of you.
grandmother and granddaddy Eddings

ClaireWilliams said...

Your words are beautiful. Your entry truly moved me. My prayers are with those who've have gone on and the loved ones left behind. Everything you said is so true. We must never take a day for granted. Love you Megs-You are wise beyond your years.